It’s officially college graduation season again which means it’s been one year since I graduated. I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I felt this time last year and, I have to say, I did not feel good. I struggled to feel the excitement and anticipation everyone expected me to feel. I was absolutely terrified, staring down the long, winding, seemingly unending road before me.

 

School sets life up into preset stages for you; everything has a beginning and an end. You knew very well what each year looked like - what classes you would take, who you would talk to, where you needed to be, and how long you’d be there - since preschool. Suddenly, my life was completely in my hands, and I had to determine the next phase of it by myself.

 

In the past few weeks, I spoke at two career panels for my alma mater where many students asked the same questions - how I found my job, what the application process entailed, what activities I participated in at school, if I felt prepared for the real world, and more. One student asked a question that stood out to me. They asked what the transition to post-college life was like. I was surprised because no one had asked me that before. I debated for a minute how to respond, and ultimately, I decided to tell the truth - that it was really hard. 

 

Looking back at my first few months after graduation, I had no idea what I was doing. I was scared, lonely, anxious, and sad. I couldn’t believe how much time had passed. It seemed that everyone around me expected me to be excited. They said I’d have more freedom than I ever imagined. The truth is that that freedom was horrifying to me. Suddenly, I existed in a world where I completely determined how I led my life, and I was not excited for that. 

 

I didn’t exactly answer the student’s questions in those exact words, but I told the truth about how I found it difficult to adjust and that it was lonely and weird and scary at times. I didn’t say it to scare them or to garner sympathy but just because I wish someone had said it to me. I was so tired of having everyone tell me how I should feel and just wanted someone to acknowledge that it was completely normal to be nervous about the rest of your life. I think we need to do a better job acknowledging that not every college graduate is looking forward to their life ahead, and I hope that my acknowledging this helps someone out there. 

 

With all that said, life does get better, and being in the “real world” can be very fun. It’s only one year later and I feel like I have grown so much and am so happy with where I am right now. I’ve learned to embrace the unknown and change my plans when needed - two things that were not always so easy to do with my very busy, rigorous schedule in school. I also adjusted to making plans on weeknights and taking full advantage of my weekends - another two things that school never allowed me to do at any stage of my life. And I learned to not base my timelines or next life phases on what anyone else thinks. I think I’ll know when it’s time for a change or realize in retrospect that I have already started a new phase.

 

I also have put in significant effort into finding things to do that I am excited about. These can include anything from sporting events to workout classes to brunch plans, happy hours, dinners to even starting your own blog (!!!). I continue to look for things that I am passionate about to fill where I think there may be little gaps in my life. It has helped me so much to have plans to look forward to after a day of work so that I'm not just living for the weekends. 

 

That first year of post-grad is hard, but it does get better. It sucks that college ends! You say goodbye to people who were your family for four years, professors who became mentors, your favorite bars, restaurants, sports teams, consistent plans on weekends, and your little, safe, bubble of the world. You are not alone or wrong to feel sad, disappointed, nervous, anxious, or anything else that you may be feeling. You are also not wrong to be excited about graduating or even confused about why I thought of writing this article! The point is, that you are justified in feeling whatever you are feeling, good or bad, and there are definitely many people out there feeling the same things. Enjoy graduation and enjoy the rest of your life! Little by little you adjust, and you find new places where you belong. I never wanted to hear, “it gets easier,” but it does, and I am so thankful to my network of support that kept pushing me along this past year. Everything takes time, so remember to give yourself some grace. I've found that life always finds its way of working out for the better.

 

Many moore thoughts coming soon,

Elizabeth